Grateful is the new unfamiliar adjective

Gone are the days when we relished in the relief of being thankful out of genuine appreciation.

Often we refuse to surmise that ordinary-little things happen each passing day are noteworthy of our gratitude list. We sometimes overlook all these little things like a good chat with close friend(s) where listening is utilised just as much as talking, recurrent inside joke that you and your circle are the only people on earth who are well averse to, the awe-inspiring sunset/sunrise yet another ornate scene crafted by God that can inspire and blossom into an unconditional love exists by default. We forget to be thankful for these little treasures in life. I forget to be thankful for these little treasures.

I forget that beautiful souls surrounding me enhance my well-being in so many incomprehensive ways. Reckon if I unhurried the pace, I may actually notice the things that make me gleefully happy. Take the mindfulness opportunity to smile at strangers or passers-by for instance, it's not the random act of kindness itself but what you do with it that has the power to make a huge difference in your day-to-day endeavours. Or those solitary night drives when you could just let the night-time in, let the breeze carry all that city lights wildness buffeted by the sweet dark air. Or when you're bogged down by both small talks and deep conversations with your friends. Give it a try, you will regret not.

Some of us conjure up a little thankfulness by basking in some metaphorical illustrations, poems or hobbies that create symmetric euphony indirectly help us seek a sense of harmonic calm. Some of us, like me, enjoy smoking especially to pull out in times of unease and apprehension.

Here's to the little privileged treasures that are uncommon in our lives we forget to acknowledge on a regular basis. Let them spark, let them unravel. 

Light at the end of the tunnel

As the air of academic rigour settles in, the earnest thoughts continue to subsist at the most unprecedented hour. Nicotine tolerances spike through brain while I struggle to conceptualize the primary aims of learning so that they become to promote wisdom rather than just acquiring knowledge. It is tiring. I am tired.

First few years and semesters as an undergrad were ignorantly blissful. Talking about things relevant to our lives, assignments were not much of an attention-worthy, party-hopping, singing songs that we really took a shine to, those were the golden moments or the treasured ones. Of course before the wild reality started to bite and deliver its early ferocious promises, sudden air of untamed perserverance slowly but surely crept in. 

However...

The mumbled verse of lecturers about subjects that are infinitely significant as "the" ultimate final authorization to the real world that lies outside the confines of my university and its ever-changing curriculum policy, I will miss. The struggle to perpetuate good CGPA and imbecilic strategies to fulfil above average degree requirements, I will miss. The perpetual nag about how we were tormented by the wrecked system administrators, I will miss. The petty quarrel and altercation from the first, second and third standpoint, I will miss. The sticky note that I pasted on my very last major project report that went "Please, Madam, give me decent grade I really need this" came in handy, I will miss. 

Along the way, my desire to become a perfectionist, when pushed to the boundary, were aspects of me desiring to become God. In my striving to be acquainted with some profound otherness, my self had become a stranger to me. Not only was this undesirable, it was totally ludicrous. If the distinction between "me" and "not me" is depicted as a square, the "me" is not, as I ordinarily assume what lies within the square. It is rather the line of the square itself, also means there is more to life than just focusing on the distinctness of getting an A or ace every class that I take, college life is a whole lot better than that. I have been downcasted, demoralized and disheartened by means of endeavour. Yet the aforementioned absences of hope are what drove me to be better. As of now I am enjoying every social aspect of being a student and I sincerely, in every sense of the word, do not want this to end. One day you will see the light, you will indulge in retrospection, and you will genuinely smile with unlooked-for warmth rushes through you.

Don't let demotivation give way to persistent black despair. I long for the final curtain call, and that ultimate standing ovation. 

Adulthood and Its Intricacy.

A wise friend of mine once remarked

"I trust nobody and that's what keeps me going."

Didn't take me long enough to contend

"I trust people, well some. I trust my circle. But I definitely have a list of whom I trust."

Within the span of your 20s, you have commitments, you have duties, you have obligations and all adulthood norms that you are (naturally) bound to. But aren't all these a special form of both anguish and pleasure?

Gratify some and astonish the rest.

I am giving my intuition a full and free rein.

Maybe we live our lives according to some grand hidden default idea, I am not pulling anyone to delve into a deep philosophical discourse. I am no good either.

We have a lot of things to be thankful for. Everything we own, everything we have and are.

It is okay to make mistakes, to alienate (contemptuous) people and to make errors. Trust me, if you cared less, life would be easier. As long as you can think what is the best possible premise beneath every outcome then happiness sooner or later will be at your disposal.
Take two roads and see both views. Good/bad and decide intuitively.

This is me, letting my intuition take the lead.